"They say tragedy comes in threes, but here in Hylia field, two is the magic number. On the same day that Zelda, the daughter of the biggest import-export guy --- big enough to be called 'The King' --- was kidnapped, some thugs shook down an armored truck carrying the Triforce, a relic that makes the Hope Diamond look like a cubic zirconium. The joke's on them, though; that truck was only carrying ONE piece.
"Not wanting to put all of my cucco eggs in one basket, I decided to follow up on the Triforce case, first. Don't get me wrong, I love rich Hylian dames... But my uncle always taught me that rupees tend to bring drama, especially when women are involved.
"Not having anything anything to go on, I smelled out my favorite rat, the Happy "Mask" Salesman, who pointed me to the docks on Hyrule Bay, after some... Persuasion, of course.
“Wanting to be as inconspicuous as possible, I decided to forgo taking my own vehicle to the docks, and instead opted to utilize public transportation. I hopped on a bus with a big ‘Magic Recorder Company’ advertisement on the side of it. Unfortunately, this thing was anything but magic, with its rusted axles, bubbled tires, screeching brakes, and passengers in the back that looked like some of those redead monsters you see in those crappy B-grade flicks at the movie house.
“So, maybe it wasn't the most inconspicuous mode of transportation, but then again, ‘inconspicuous’ isn't exactly an easy accomplishment for a guy in a green three-piece suit and fedora --- what can I say, I like what I like.
“I hopped off the bus at the corner of 8th and Rock, a couple of blocks away from the main warehouse and processing center for ‘Zora Fish and Import’, the biggest fishing operation in all of Hyrule, and carefully walked to the warehouse. Now, I don't know much about imports, but I know I smelled something fishy, and it wasn't the latest haul coming in on the ships.
“I crouched down behind a crate near the main entrance to the place so I could devise a plan good enough to get me, at worst, an open casket funeral. There was one guard watching the entrance, but he didn't look smart enough to cooperate if I flashed my Hylian shield at him, so I reached into my jacket to grab my old Lynel M1908 handgun… And hesitated.